I have great news! Today could be your lucky day. It’s not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice. Lucky people are ordinary people who make their own good luck by thinking and behaving in ways that create good fortune in their lives. Here’s what they do differently:
1.) Lucky people maintain a relaxed attitude that is open and aware.
A study by psychologist Dr. Richard Wiseman surveyed a bunch of people to find out who considered themselves lucky or unlucky. Wiseman gave both the ‘lucky’ and the ‘unlucky’ people a newspaper and asked them to look through it and tell him how many photographs were inside. That’s it. Luck wasn’t on their minds, just some silly task.
He found that on average the unlucky people took two minutes to count all the photographs, whereas the lucky ones determined the number in a few seconds. How could the lucky people do this? Because they noticed a message on thesecond page that read, “Stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.” So why didn’t the unlucky people see it? Because they were so intent on counting all the photographs that they missed the message.
When people are focused on a single task, blocking out every other possibility, they miss chance opportunities that could be important. Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore they see what is there rather than seeing only what they are looking for. Unlucky people do the opposite. They go to parties with the sole intent of finding their perfect partner, and so they miss opportunities to make good friends or meet people who might be able to help them in their careers. They look through the newspaper determined to find specific jobs, and overlook great openings.
The same principle applies when lucky people meet and chat with other people. They are relaxed and attuned to the opportunities around them. Lucky people see what is there, rather than trying to find exactly what they want to see.
In the real world, you’ve got opportunities all around you. If your mind is closed, you’re not going to spot them. Being relaxed and open allows you to see what’s really around and maximize the potential of what’s right under their nose.
2.) Lucky people use intuition and gut instincts to make successful decisions.
Lucky people simply know when a decision is right. They trust themselves to decide. And if they get it wrong, they take it as a lesson learned and then adjust their approach. In contrast, unlucky people view many of their poor decisions as yet more evidence of how they are always destined to fail.
In his book, The Luck Factor, Dr. Wiseman discusses another study he conducted in which more than a hundred lucky and unlucky people answered a short questionnaire concerning the role of intuition – the rather curious sensation that something we have just done, or are about to do, is very right or very wrong – in their lives. When it came to luck, intuition mattered. Lucky people’s gut feelings and hunches tended to pay off time and time again. In contrast, unlucky people often ignored their intuition and regretted their decisions.
3.) Lucky people notice little things and solve small problems.
I chatted with an aspiring web application developer recently who was complaining that all the big ideas were being worked on already and that there was nothing groundbreaking left to do. As he talked, I realized he was referencing massive projects that others were working on that seemed mostly out of reach. And as I thought about all these ‘grand ideas’ I realized that in most cases they probably didn’t start with a massive plan or project, but rather started by trying to solve a simple problem. The biggest accomplishments often originate from humble roots, yet not many people realize this.
This is the impression I get when I read about the early stages of companies like Google. I’m pretty sure Google’s founders didn’t have the goal of organizing the all of the world’s information as their primary focus when they first started – instead they started with a series of smaller problems (problems are potential opportunities) and slowly expanded their end goal from there.
4.) Lucky people treat their failures as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Everything in life is a lesson. Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, etc. They’re all part of the learning experience we call ‘life.’
Never forget to acknowledge the lesson. If you don’t get a job you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means something better is out there waiting. And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it. Lucky people learn from their mistakes. When ill fortune blocks the path to their goals, they explore other ways of solving the problem and squeeze some benefit from their misfortune.
Unlucky people often dwell on mistakes from the past, obsessing about the bad luck that put them in their present unlucky situation. But remember, good luck has a lot to do with choice. Use all of the lessons you have learned to make educated decisions and create good luck for yourself in the future.
5.) Lucky people appreciate what they have right now.
When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value. If you are in the constant habit of feeling and giving gratitude, the world wants to give you more and more. Pay close attention to the present, many people aren’t so lucky.
You already have some amazing things in your life, whether you realize it or not. Most of us have incredible family members, friends, other loved ones who love us back. Learn to appreciate what a miracle that is. Most of us have good health, which is another miracle. Most of us have eyes, with which to enjoy the amazing miracles of sunsets and nature and beauty all around us. Most of us have ears, with which to enjoy music, one of the greatest miracles ever. Be grateful for each of these things, and more!
Take time every day, throughout the day, to thank life for all that it has given you, to thank others for what they give you, to simply be grateful.
6.) Lucky people work toward their goals every day without fail.
The harder you work, the luckier you will become. Stop waiting around for things to work out on their own. They won’t. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean truly devoting oneself to the end result. The rest of us never act on our decision. Or, at best, we pretend to act on it by putting forth an uninspired, half-assed effort.
If you want good luck in your life, you’ve got to be willing to give it 100% every day. No slacking off! Take some advice from one of America’s most influential founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin: “Diligence is the mother of good luck”. Achieving your goals and dreams can be a lot of work. Be ready for it.
7.) Lucky people help when they’re able.
It’s impossible to help someone else and not get a little help for yourself in the process.
The old saying “what goes around comes around” is definitely true in all walks of life, and it comes around when you least expect it. In life, you get what you put in. Remember, luck often comes in the form of help when you need it most, and the best way to ‘grease the rails’ for help when you’ll eventually need it is by helping others right now.
When you help others, don’t expect something in return. Just enjoy the experience of helping that person and building a stronger personal relationship. That stronger relationship will likely be there for you in your moments of darkness.
8.) Lucky people tend to see the positive side of their ill fortune.
They imagine how things could have been so much worse. For example, research shows that Olympic athletes who win bronze medals are typically happier than their silver medalist counterparts. This is because silver medalists think that if they had performed slightly better they might have won a gold medal. In contrast, bronze medalists focus on how if they’d performed slightly worse, they wouldn’t have won anything at all.
Having a positive outlook on life is a must if you are to become a luckier person. If your outlook on life is doom and gloom, then that’s all you’ll experience. Fortunately, the opposite is also true. When you dwell on the negative events in your life, you will experience only the negative. But when you concentrate on positive events, you will begin to feel much happier and luckier.
You control your luck and your life by controlling your thoughts. Keep a luck diary. At the end of each day, spend a couple of moments writing down the positive and lucky things that happened. Once you get in the habit of seeing the bright side, it will be difficult to see it any other way.
9.) Lucky people enjoy new experiences and take calculated risks.
If you want more luck, mix it up. Unlucky people tend to be creatures of habit. They take the same route to and from work every single day, talk to the same types of people at social functions, and live out the same routine day in and day out. In contrast, lucky people try to introduce variety into their lives. They are adventurous. They take calculated risks. They are consistently taking action in the face of uncertainty.
When you take small risks, either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win. Take the leap even when you can’t see every last detail coming over the horizon. Remember, if you never act, you will never know for sure, and you will be left standing in the same unlucky spot forever.
If you need a little push, try playing the dice game. Make a list of six new experiences – things that you have never done before but wouldn’t mind trying. Some of the experiences might be fairly simple and others might be more adventurous. Write down a list of the experiences and number them 1 to 6. Then, roll a die and carry out whichever experience is selected. What a fun way to bring new experiences, risk and possibly luck into your life.
10.) Lucky people believe they CAN.
In all walks of life, positive beliefs have the power to become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Lucky people believe they CAN be successful. Studies have shown that a managers’ positive beliefs and expectations in their staff have a profound effect on the productivity and success rate of their staff. Likewise, managers who believe in themselves motivate the people around them to perform well and believe in themselves as well, while those with poor expectations cause those around them to become despondent and unproductive.
Positive beliefs and high expectations also motivate lucky people to persist even in the face of considerable adversity; which means they eventually reach the finish line as the other contenders walk back to the starting line.
Conclusion
Those who take responsibility for their own lives and actions know that luck can be created. Live each day believing in yourself and your ability to be lucky, and over time you will be. I challenge you to review each bullet point again and think of your own personal luck in recent times. Think about how lucky you are right now.
Self-doubt is a natural part of human experience. Everyone has moments in which they are not sure of themselves, and for some these moments permeate into their psyche until it becomes a lifestyle. Although it is detrimental to live with complete certitude in what you do, it is equally negative to lose all confidence in your capabilities.
The question is, how do you overcome the doubt and insecurity you have? Or at the very least, what can you do to develop your self-confidence?
The fact is, self-confidence is a state of mind that requires some dedication and practice to establish. Becoming a confident person is not an instant change but rather a gradual process, just like learning to write or play tennis. With practice and dedication, you will undoubtedly notice positive results.
Here are 8 helpful tips for getting rid of your skepticism
1: Pinpoint your insecurities, and try to notice the ones that are strongest
Before you are able to overcome your doubts, you need to know what they are! Furthermore, knowing your particular weaknesses will help you designate what you should be spending more of your mental energy conquering.
2: Find a hobby or a lot more time for a hobby you already have in place
Take a class or join a club. If you are doing something you love, your life is endowed with purpose and meaning, which inevitably leads to a love of oneself. Moreover, by exhibiting your talents in a public place with likeminded people you overcome your shyness and find individuals who could potentially become lifelong friends!
3: Identify your accomplishments
Now, you don’t have to have a Nobel Prize and an Oscar to consider yourself successful. Try to find the hidden, small successes in life. For example, if you read a thick book or cleaned the house instead of watching television, you can say that you are trying to improve yourself and your environment. Not to mention it illustrates that you have great discipline. Ultimately, confidence is all about your outlook on life!
4: Help other people
Being altruistic has been shown to be a cure for self-doubt by many scientific studies. Whether you are helping a friend move or donating some money to a homeless person you come across, you are making a difference in someone’s life. Thus, your action has made you matter to the other person, a feeling which brings with it a certain level of fulfillment.
5: Face your fears
Try doing what you are most afraid of. You’ll find out it wasn’t as bad as you thought. By doing something you never thought you would, you will make all of your other insecurities seem relatively insignificant.
6: Take a different view on failure
Don’t treat mistakes as a reflection of your incompetence, but as an opportunity to improve yourself. If you find this difficult use the internet as a source of inspiration- you can always Google a story about a college dropout becoming a billionaire. Clearly there are some ways to bounce back from failure.
7: Talk to someone
Unload your fears and insecurities and get an objective opinion. When you built something up in your head, you often perceive a scenario to be worse than it is.
8: Be thankful for what you have!
You are an accomplished person in one way or another and there are plenty of positive qualities in you. What’s more, by reading about ways to gain self-confidence you are a proactive person who is taking active steps to improve yourself!
Writer: Joel
Humans are social beings. We enjoy being understood and accepted; feeling that we belong. Maybe that’s why our friends, family and romantic partners are so important to us.
Unfortunately, Western culture values individual achievement over personal relationships. We’re good at finding career success but less than stellar at connecting with other people. As a result, our relationships often suffer.
But wouldn’t you love to rekindle the spark you once had with your significant other? Be respected and understood by your friends? Admired for who you are by your family?
If you want to make all these things happen, this post is for you.
Here are 5 ways to build better relationships with everyone.
1. Learn To Listen and Understand
“You never listen.” “You just don’t get me.”
Children say it to parents; wives to husbands; friends to each other. And they’re probably right – people are always too busy thinking about themselves to listen.
Everyone wants to share the newest story; the great idea they just had; their thoughts and advice. Most of us are either talking or waiting for our turn to talk. This doesn’t make for good conversation – or strong relationships.
The solution is simple: connect with people by listening and understanding.
When talking to someone, hear them out without judgment or interruption. Focus on what’s being said and do your best to understand. Your attention and empathy will be appreciated by others.
2. Trust Other People
We often find it hard to trust because we’ve been hurt in the past. People coming out of romantic relationships are especially wary of opening their hearts again. But the truth is, ALL relationships – family, business, platonic – require trust.
Having no trust means worrying about what others are doing, thinking and saying when you’re not around. It means monitoring and controlling someone instead of enjoying them. Doesn’t sound fun, right?
At the end of the day, you can never know whether someone’s going to hurt you or not. There are no guarantees in life. You can try to protect yourself – but unless you make it a full-time job, you’re more likely to drive yourself crazy.
3. Be Honest About Your Wants
Have you ever felt disappointed because someone didn’t act as expected? Maybe your parents said something hurtful; maybe your boyfriend didn’t realize you were mad at him. You probably felt let down at the time.
But if you think about it, we set ourselves up for disappointment so often. We fail to tell others what we want and then blame them for not reading our minds.
When you want something – or want to share something – be honest about it. Expressing your desires might feel uncomfortable, but it gives the other person a fighting chance to give you what you really want.
4. Be A Giver
We’re always looking to gain something from other people: positive emotions, knowledge, gifts. This is fine: humans are selfish by nature. “What’s in it for me?” is the first question we subconsciously ask ourselves.
The problem is, you can’t just take and take in relationships. If you don’t give back something of equal or greater value, there’s no reason for other people to stay around you.
That’s why investing yourself into relationships works so well. Make people feel good; gift them your undivided attention; make time for those who really matter. Giving value is the best way to be appreciated by the people around you.
5. Let Go Of The Need To Be Right
If we disagree with a person, we get angry. If we disapprove of something, we judge. If we feel we know best, we give unsolicited advice. In short, being right feels good; being wrong feels bad.
But when you think about it, nobody likes being told what to do. Unless a person explicitly asks for advice, they want to be understood – not lectured. When dealing with other people, let go of the need to be right.
That means you don’t force your opinion on other people. Don’t be pushy, self-righteous and judgmental– no matter how you might feel. Even when you think you’re right, understand that different people have different opinions!
Accept other people for what they are, right or wrong, and they’ll love you for it.
Conclusion
In today’s world, it’s always about “me, me, me.” This is why our relationships with friends, family and romantic partners are weak. You can’t connect with other people if you’re thinking about yourself all the time!
The best way to build better relationships with everyone is through positivity. From listening to other people to letting go of the temptation to judge, the tips in this post are all based on being a good person.
Now apply these techniques to your life and build better relationships with everyone.
“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be” – Joseph Campbell
If you can do it anyone else can do it too. Do you know that to be true? We all have the ability to stretch beyond our believed capacity and reach for the stars. But many of us have self-imposed beliefs that prevent us from getting to the next level.
Do you know who Roger Bannister is? He was the first person to run a mile in under four minutes.. The four-minute mile was believed to be impossible to reach until Roger did it in 1952. The motivating factor for Bannister was to prove that running a mile in under four minutes was not a myth and completely possible to do. In other words, he crushed a limiting belief that had been long-held by sportswriters and fellow runners in his time.
Guess what happened as a result of Bannister running a mile in under four minutes? You guessed it, the ‘four minute barrier’ has since been broken by many male athletes, and is now the standard of all male professional middle distance runners.
The point of this post is not to discuss your running abilities. But rather to show you that anything is possible if you believe it to be. Witnessing Bannister run the mile in under four minutes allowed for other runners to not only know it is possible to do, but to actually do it themselves.
You see, whatever anyone has done can be replicated by you. What was once believed to be impossible is now very possible.
We are living in very special times. What once took a lifetime to carry out can now become real in almost no time at all. Just look at technology for example. We can do things now like have a Skype call face to face in “real time” on a monitor with someone on the other side of the World.
This was just a neat idea when I was a kid. Now it is real and I have experienced it first hand. We are also in a time where our thoughts are manifesting much quicker into reality. I won’t go into the whole LOA thing here but our thoughts are things, and every thought we have sends a signal from our brain out into the physical world. Similar to a radio or cell phone signal.
Now, more people than ever are having psychic experiences, and even more amazing, they are willing to talk about them openly without fear of ridicule. How many times have you thought of someone and you receive a call, email or they just sent you a message through social media? It’s happening, and it’s happening at a very deep level for many.
What about your dreams. Have they been “uber” real lately? Mine have. Very rich and vivid dreams as if they are really happening, well, that is without this heavy, dense suit that I call my body.
Many are realizing that they are conscious beings that actually have more control over their lives than they once believed they had. Human beings are remembering that they are beings and that their being is more important than titles, degrees, social status and so on.
We are in an age of transformation or as many of you know it as the “New Age” of humanity. We are at the place where “old ways” are being removed for “new ways.” We are leaving a place of great darkness and heading to a place of light and awareness.
Many of you are being called forward to step up to the plate and to take your place in this new world of creation. Nothing is impossible in this new time because if I can do it, so can you. If you can do it, so can I.
Are you ready for your new responsibility?
Many of you are in a profession that you are not cut out to be in. Perhaps your parents thought you should be a teacher so you went to school, got your degree, and now you are one. The experience of teaching turned out to not be the best career choice for you, but it has a great retirement plan. Right?
Wrong! Your spirit, the real you is nudging you in a new direction in life but you feel afraid to make the change. I get it, I feel fear too, but I Overcome it and move on in spite of it. This is the only way to real happiness, to real contentment with your life.
How many times can you get up every morning excited about a life that you are not excited about? For me, I’d rather stay in bed than to live a life that isn’t fun and exciting for me. So how do you make the change without losing something? Everything has temporary sacrifices but they will pass. You may need to take a step back in order to take five steps forward. Are you willing to do it?
Perhaps you just need courage to change. Fear of the unknown is the most common of all fears. Most of you have faced your fears in life yet you still have a fear of what lies ahead for you. What if you could learn to transform fear into curiosity? Would you be more likely to take a step into the unknown then?
The only way to truly be free is to not fear your fear, but to transform it into curiosity like; “I wonder what would happen if I went this direction with my life?” What would happen? You won’t ever know unless you move towards it with curiosity instead of fear.
Writer: Justin Mazza
Here are 7 ways to live happier through love:- Learn how to sit quietly in a room alone. – The inability to sit quietly in a room alone suggests you’re not comfortable with yourself. Learn how to accept and love who you are.
- Expect less. – Expectation is the root cause of most heartache. Managing expectations can be difficult, but it’s a valuable ingredient in learning to love unconditionally. Expecting less does not mean lowering your standards, goals or values, it simply means you must learn to be realistic and realize the difference between what you can and cannot control.
- Care less. – What? This is crazy you might say. In Martha Beck’s article in O Magazine, How to Love More by Caring Less, she explains how caring suggests conditions that have different meanings than love. Caring suggests you’re attached to the outcome emotionally where love is pure acceptance.
- Take care of yourself first. – A great analogy for this is the airline oxygen mask procedure – how the flight attendant instructs parents to put the oxygen mask on themselves first, before their children. If you do not love yourself, you’re not much good to anyone else.
- Know what self love is. – While discussing the topic of love in a support group, someone shared, “I settled for sex when what I really wanted was love.” Learn to love and respect yourself so you’ll know the difference. Read The Mastery of Love.
- Learn the love language of others – Being an emotional person, I longed for a deep relationship with my father. Talking about emotions or topics on self-enlightenment was something my father was not good at. But he was good at other things. Through the process of self-awareness, I learned that my father expressed love in different ways. This enabled me to enjoy a completely differently relationship with him even though he hadn’t really changed.
- Learn how to show love – We’re judged by our actions rather than our intentions. Make it a point to verbally express love as well as display it physically. This is a benefit of learning someone’s love language; make it a point to show them how much you love them in many different ways.
And remember, if you hurt from love now, be grateful that you still have the capacity to love, make some necessary adjustments and keep on loving. Your big heart will get you to happier places in the long-term.Writer: Marc
No one likes to fail. Whether it’s at work, at home, or in another area of your life, failure is painful – and it can also be costly in terms of time, money, or both.
But failure is a normal part of life. If you never, ever suffer a failure, then you’re probably not pushing yourself to your full potential. Often, it’s only through failure that we eventually meet with success.
Here’s how to pick yourself up after you’ve failed:
Limit the Damage CausedOnce you realize you’ve failed, you need to take steps to limit the damage caused by that failure. That could mean:
- You sell off that gym equipment that you’re never going to get round to using
- You step down from that position that you should never have taken in the first place
- You apologize to someone who you hurt by saying something thoughtless or unkind
Whatever the situation, being proactive is always going to be a better option than sticking your head in the sand and wishing it had never happened.
Remember that Other People Fail TooMost people don’t talk openly about their failures. They’ll tell you about that great new contract they signed … not that deal they worked on for months, only to have it slip through their fingers.
But failure is normal, and lots of people fail time and time again before meeting with success. Here are a few quotes that might help you to remember that:
“Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.”– Napoleon Hill“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
– Michael Jordan
“I was set free because my greatest fear had been realized, and I still had a daughter who I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
– J.K. Rowling
Remind Yourself of Your Past Successes…Failing doesn’t mean that you’re worthless, or that you’ll never achieve the things you want. Think of all the times in the past when you’ve succeeded.
Maybe you got a promotion that you worked for last year, or you had a great GPA in college, or you lost weight, or you learned to play a musical instrument. You might want to write down a list of successes – things that you’ve accomplished over the past few years, whether big or small. If you ever lack confidence, you can go back and read over that list.
…And Your Past FailuresYour past successes are important … but so are your past failures. You’ve made mistakes before, and you’ve survived them. Perhaps you did badly in an exam, or screwed something up at work, or lost your temper and had to apologize.
It’s not fun to think about the times when things went wrong, but by acknowledging your failures, you can remind yourself that today is no different. Just as you recovered in the past, you can recover from your recent failure too.
Make a DecisionWhatever went wrong, you’re probably facing some sort of decision – even once the initial consequences are over. For instance, perhaps you took out a credit card and ended up in debt. You’re facing two choices: keep using the card, or make it inaccessible in some way.
Don’t rush into making hasty decisions – but do look for a forward path. That might require some deep thinking. You can help yourself by:
- Getting some extra advice and support with a particular area of your life, perhaps from a professional like a doctor, personal trainer, life coach, or counselor.
- Reading and learning more, if a lack of knowledge led to your failure.
- Talking through your options with a loved one or close friend, or writing in a journal about the decision(s) that you face.
“Doing nothing” is certainly an option … but it’s a decision in itself, and often one that won’t lead to anything positive.
Whatever failure you’re struggling with right now, you can learn from it, and move on.
Writer: Ali Luke
Have you ever noticed that the times when you really need to focus are the times when it’s toughest?
On days when you have far too much to do — an overflowing inbox, meetings to prepare for, chores to complete — it’s easy to end up darting from one task to the next, never making any real headway.
When you’ve got a lot to juggle, you need a battle plan. Here’s what to do:
- Write a List
It’s impossible to focus when you’re constantly thinking “I mustn’t forget to send that email” or “I need to call John.” Write down everything that needs to get done today. Your list doesn’t have to be complex, and you don’t need to worry about sorting it at this stage.
Some people like to keep their work and personal lists separate; it’s up to you how you do that. If something’s on your mind, though, make sure you record it somewhere — even little things like “buy milk on the way home” can drag down your mental energy. - Decide on Priorities
Once you’ve got your list, it’s time to figure out what order to tackle your tasks in for today. First, look for anything that can be delegated or postponed: pare your list down as much as possible.
Next, work out what you want to do first. It’s up to you how you prioritize; normally, it makes sense to tackle the more important and urgent tasks first, but you may prefer to go for a few quick wins in the first half-hour of the day to build up a sense of momentum.
Put some sort of mark against your first, second, and third tasks. (I use one, two and three asterisks; you might prefer numbers, or colors.) That way, you can relax and get on with your tasks in order, knowing that you’re dealing with things efficiently, and that you’ll be able to get all the important stuff done. - Resist the Urge to Multi-Task
However tempting it is to have your emails open in one window while you reply to Tweets in another and edit that document in a third … don’t. You can’t focus on several things all at the same time, and you’ll end up making silly mistakes or forgetting to finish part of a task.
Tackle things one by one. That might mean:
- Setting a timer while you work on the report for 30 minutes
- Dealing with your emails as a batch, perhaps every few hours, not as they come in
- Closing social media programs until your lunch break (if they’re part of your work, treat them like your emails)
Any time you find yourself trying to tackle several things at once, stop. Remind yourself that you’ll work more effectively when you complete task A before moving onto task B. - Work Steadily, Take Breaks
None of us can focus for hours at a time — but when we’re busy, we often try to. This just leads to slowed progress, mistakes, and procrastination. (You know the kind of thing; you tell yourself you’ll just check Facebook quickly while waiting for a file to download, then you end up clicking on links, leaving comments, sending happy birthday messages…)
To stop yourself procrastinating, plan for regular breaks. Work for, say, 45 minutes on your report, then take a 5 or 10 minute break to stretch your legs and grab a glass of water. When you know you’ve got a break coming up, it’s a lot easier to stay focused.
Hopefully, your too-busy-to-think days don’t come up too often. If you seem to be in a constant pattern of rushing around, juggling more tasks than you can manage, then look for ways to make changes. That might mean learning some better time management skills, or talking to your manager about your workload.
Writer: Ali Luke
You don't have to be in a position of authority to be a leader. Conversely, just because you have authority doesn't mean that people will follow you. You must be a leader to get others to follow you.
There are many books on leadership. They can have lots of great examples and in-depth explanations, but sometimes you just need something simple to help you focus on the essentials. This article intends to do just that. These are the habits that will help you and your team achieve great things if you focus on them.
- Goals
Make it simple and easy for your team to understand the mission and to understand their part in achieving it.
- Concise Goals. Keep them simple and easy to understand.
- Focus your team on as few goals as possible.
- Communicate the team's goals often and through various means (team meetings, individual meetings, emails, posters, slogans). And then do it some more.
- Track progress on goals.
- Involve team players in tracking the goals so that they own the results.
- Motivating People
What you reward gets done. It's that simple.
- Incent team players to do the tasks that are most critical for reaching the team's goals. Make sure the rewards are meaningful to people. Understand each player and what they want from their job and in life. That's how you'll know how to reward them.
- Praise, Thank, and Recognize big and small contributions by individuals. Do this often and then do it some more.
- Set High Expectations. People will live UP to or DOWN to the expectations you set. Set them high and you're saying, "I believe in your ability to do great things!"
- Empower people by delegating responsibility.
- Celebrate team accomplishments often.
- Encourage Fun. Make the work place a fun place to be. Yes, work needs to get done but short fun breaks can make all the difference in the culture of your team.
- Pride. Foster a sense of pride in your team. As a team you could establish a mascot, create a team chant, and have a meeting that is focused solely on each individual's strengths and the team's overall strengths.
- Walk Your Talk
You need to practice what you preach. This is how you establish trust and credibility.
- Model the Way by participating in the team's tasks as much as your position allows.
- Be Honest. Deliver on your promises. Actions speak louder than words.
- Challenge Yourself. Do your best (and then some) just like you ask your team to do their best.
- Speak Up. Just like your team members sometimes need to let you know what they've done in order for you to be able to recognize and praise them. They, in turn, need to know what you've been working on and what you've accomplished. So find ways to communicate this, modeling this key behavior.
- Stay Sharp. You need to be competent for others to follow you. If you're not improving, you're falling behind. Always be learning and keep on top of the latest skills, technology, and knowledge in your field.
- Inspire through a combination of
- Unwavering Positive Future Vision
- Commitment to Improve things along the way that will make that positive vision a reality.
- Ability to Bootstrap as necessary when resources are tight.
- Process Power
Good process is like having a high performance machine. Sloppy process makes things fall apart. So be sure to establish these key habits with your team.
- Establish Routines. Do this for the team and also work with each individual to come up with their own high productivity routines. These are routines that dictate what work is done when.
- Establish Processes for all the tasks that are done repeatedly. It takes time to set up at first, but after that it will pay off in saved time and less errors. Processes describe how work is done and might involve systems for doing the work.
- Task Assignment. As much as possible, assign tasks according to the strengths of each teammate.
- Change
Embrace change by seeking it out. This will tread a path for your teammates to follow.
- Change Routines Quarterly. Look for better ways to achieve the team's goals.
- Take Risks. Don't be afraid of failure. No one ever reaches great heights without a few failures.
- Learn. Learn as a team from failures. "How can we improve it the next time?"
- Encourage team members to take smart risks too by making it safe to fail. Focus on learning from past experiences and building upon them to find better solutions.
- Advocacy
Support your team and they'll support you.
- Promote your team members. Make sure others outside your team know about the individual team members' successes. You want your team members to excel and even graduate away from your team possibly. Don't worry. If your team is great there will be plenty of others who will want to join! This natural turnover of team members is like the renewal of cells in your body. It is necessary and healthy.
- Promote your team. It's your job to market the great accomplishments of your team in order to get the rewards, recognition, and resources that your team deserves.
- Fight for the most important resources and changes that will benefit your team and the organization overall. Remember to pick your battles wisely.
Writer: K.Stone
What has life taught you? Think about all the things you would love to tell yourself if you could travel back in time to give your younger self some advice about life.
Here’s a sample of our favorite life lessons:
- What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.
- In life, you usually get what you ask for, but it rarely comes in the package you think it’s supposed to come in.
- Never let one bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.
- Just because today is a terrible day doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life. You just got to get there.
- Tell the truth, or eventually someone will tell it for you.
- A mistake is an accident. Cheating and lying are not mistakes. They are intentional choices.
- Sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re better off without.
- Some people cannot stand that you’re moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you. Do not help them by acknowledging their behavior. Keep moving forward.
- Surround yourself with positive people who are going to push you toward greatness. Eliminate those who are trying to keep you from it.
- Don’t let something that doesn’t matter cause you to lose something thatdoes.
- Sometimes people aren’t who they seem to be, and sometimes people are so much more than you originally thought.
- Loving someone isn’t just about saying it every day, it’s showing it every day in every way.
- Maturity is not when we start speaking about big things, it’s when we start understanding the small things.
- Of all the things that can be stolen from you – your possessions, your youth, your health, your words, your rights – what no one can ever take from you is your freedom to choose what you will believe in, and who and what your heart will love.
- When you can forgive yourself and others and stop the imprisonment, you’re creating the love of your life.
- Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
- Age wrinkles the body. Quitting on your dreams wrinkles the soul.
- The past can’t hurt you anymore – not unless you let it.
- Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of energy, and serves no purpose in creating a better future.
- Sometimes you’ve got to emotionally let go of the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you, and open the next chapter in your life.
- The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong one, we get lost, and we turn back. But maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.
- It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed or if you’ve been beaten. All that matters is that you learn something, get back up, and try again. Because winning is a good feeling, but winning when nobody else thought you could is an awesome feeling.
- Knowing yourself is one thing, but truly believing and living as yourself is another. With so much social conditioning in our society, we sometimes forget who we are.
- The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
- You can grow stronger from the pain if you don’t let it destroy you.
- Tell the negativity committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.
- The worst person to be around is the one who complains about everything and appreciates nothing. Avoid these people at all costs.
- Live in such a way that if someone decided to speak badly of you, no one would believe it.
- If you love someone, tell them. For hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.
- Life is shorter than it often seems. Sometimes we are only given a few minutes to be with the ones we love, and hundreds of hours to spend thinking of them. Cherish the moments you have with your friends and family, because in one single second they can be taken away from you forever.
- Things change, but the sun always rises the next day. The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent.
- It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
- We often accept the love we think we deserve.
- If someone can’t accept you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.
- Without communication there is no relationship; without respect there is no love; without trust there’s no reason to continue.
- If you leave someone at least tell them why, because knowing you’re not worth an explanation is even more painful than being abandoned.
- Speak when you are very angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
- Choose your words carefully – they can’t be taken back once you give them away. Harsh words are like bullets – they can leave deep wounds. And most of the time saying “sorry” is not enough to heal the wounds you leave.
- Never make a big decision when you’re angry, and never make a big promise when you’re overjoyed.
- It makes no sense to be second in someone’s life when you know you’re good enough to be first in someone else’s.
- Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self.
- There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.
- Sometimes a break from your routine is the very thing you need.
- When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and despair and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings.
- Don’t count the number of friends you have; count the number of friends you can count on.
- Sometimes, the people who are thousands of miles away from you, can make you feel better than people right beside you. That’s a sign of love and true friendship.
- There are times when family are like strangers, and strangers are like family.
- Life is not about making others happy. Life is about sharing your happiness with others.
- When someone tells you, “You’ve changed,” it might simply be because you’ve stopped living your life their way.
- If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t ever change.
- Know you worth! When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back.
- Imperfections are important, and so are mistakes. You get to be good by learning from your mistakes and you get to be real by being imperfect.
- The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.
- The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.
- The difference between who you are and who you want to be, is what you do.
- If you really want to know where your destiny lies, look at where you apply your time.
- You are where you are right now because of the actions you’ve taken, or maybe the inaction you’ve taken.
- Be sure to taste your own words before you spit them out.
- Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.
- When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing. Go for long walks. Indulge in great conversations. Question your assumptions. Love yourself. Pay attention to the moment. Be a little crazy. Count your blessings. Let go for a little while and just be.
- Just as we cannot see that a seed has taken root until it breaks through the surface, we cannot always see our own growth happening until it does the same.
- Don’t ever change just to impress someone. Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a better future.
- Feelings are like waves in the ocean; we can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf.
- Being happy doesn’t always make us grateful, but being grateful will always make us happy.
- Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have and all the problems you know you don’t have.
- It’s nice to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s also important to make sure you haven’t lost track of the things that money can’t buy.
- If you’re finding it hard to be grateful for anything, sit down close your eyes and take a long slow breath and be grateful for oxygen. Every breath you take is in sync with someone’s last.
- Life is like a rainbow, you need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear.
- It’s better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that requires you to sacrifice your self-respect.
- Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
- Moving on can mean that you’re making a choice to be happy rather than hurt. It doesn’t mean that you’re giving up.
- Decide to smile and make the best of it; it’s good for your health.
- Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.
- Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off. It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can.
- You don’t need a perfect one. You just need someone who you can trust – who shows you that you’re the only one.
- There are people in your life whom you knowingly inspire simply by being you.
- Everyone says love hurts, but that’s not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love; but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the one thing in this world that does not hurt.
- Real friendship is a promise made in the heart. Silent. Unwritten. Unbreakable by distance. Unchangeable by time.
- Good relationships are not just about the good times you share; it’s also about the obstacles you go through together, and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end.
- Do small things with huge amounts of love. You’ll see why.
- Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them.
- Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.
- Look at yourself and remember, people in far worse situations have done far more difficult things than this.
- The best thing that you can do in life is follow your intuition. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing will ever happen.
- Most of the time happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power; it comes from good friends and family, and from the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
- Lying is done with both words and silence.
- When something bad happens you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
- Don’t waste your time being upset about something you can’t change. Start again right now and do it better this time.
- No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you do NOT want.
- You can’t always be agreeable. That’s how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries.
- The road to success is always under construction.
- Not trying is failing.
- Don’t be afraid of going slowly; be afraid of standing still forever.
- The only time you should look back is to see how far you’ve come.
- Stop wasting time regretting what you did a year ago. Start doing what you have to do now, so that in a year’s time you won’t regret what you did today.
- It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it how many times you get back up.
- Follow your heart regardless of what others tell you to do. At the end of the day it’s you that has to live with your decisions, not them.
- One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you.
- The hardest part about growing is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you’re not.
- The best things happen when you least expect it. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
- Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.
As a blogger, an entrepreneur or even an employee you can tend to feel a lack of motivation when times are rough or your products and services simply don’t get the attention they deserve. It is easy to give up, drown in self-pity or insecurity, which ultimately leads to you giving up or simply not performing in the best way possible.
I have certainly been there and I am sure most of you have too. However, it is in those moments that we can show our real strength and our determination for success. Those moments distinguish the winners from those who will never make it big.
What is it then that we can do to stay motivated when everything seems to be turning against us?
- The Mindset
Mindset is everything. I am not the first one to tell you this and I won’t be the last, but the transformation I have experienced in the last months by simply changing my mindset is incredible.
If you stop acting from a mindset of fear and start having trust in the world and in yourself, your entire outlook on life will change. You will feel happier, more balanced, more confident and stronger, which will weave itself into your work and your performance. By believing you will make it and by knowing that there is room for your success in this world no matter the economy or the circumstances, you will deliver your A game and you will be able to push through those moments of doubt and fear.
- The People
The people you surround yourself with are crucial. Are they tearing you down? Are they trying to keep you small? Are they affecting your mood in negative ways? Are they limiting your thinking?
No matter how strong you are, not matter your confidence, when you spend too much time with people who have a limited mindset, it will affect you personally and ultimately hinder your performance.
However, if you seek people who share your vision or who have already achieved success far beyond what your situation is right now, you will automatically dream bigger and achieve more. These people will push you to new heights of performance and they will be there to celebrate your successes with you or keep you motivated when things are looking anything but rosy.
The more confident and successful people you surround yourself with, the better your chances for major success.
- The Inspiration
Another huge factor in uplifting you is getting inspiration from all kinds of sources. Read books, attend classes, listen to podcasts, find a mastermind group or go to conferences. Inspiration is all around. You just have to find it. No matter the graveness of your situation, no matter your frustration, you can always find someone who has been where you are, but didn’t give up and ended up immensely successful.
By feeding your brain this positive and encouraging information, your thoughts will transform themselves and act as a catalyst for reinforcing you that you can always turn your business around. At the same time, you can learn from these people and find new ways of thinking and approaching whatever it is you’re doing.
- The Goals
When I started my recovery from anorexia after 14 years of struggle, I had many days and weeks of depression, anxiety and complete loss of identity. But I had a goal in mind: I wanted to live. So I pushed through. I ate, not wanting to. I fought against the urge to overexercise. I stopped abusing laxatives. I gained weight, loathing myself, but I did not give up. I knew my goal and I went after it, no matter the measures of discomfort I experienced.
The same is true for wanting to create a successful business and life. You need to have a clear, tangible goal and action plans you can implement. The more precise the goals the better. The more detailed the action plans the more beneficial. I know it is tedious. I know most people would rather spend their time in different ways. But when you don’t know in which direction you want to go, you cannot expect to stay motivated in rough times.
Knowing exactly what you want to achieve will help you along the way and this is the safest way to always stay on track, remain motivated and keep working hard.
- The Persistence
Sometimes you simply have to keep pushing through. Yes, bad times suck and they can wear you down, but if you really want to achieve something, you have to persist. By implementing my suggestions, you should believe by now that change is possible, so staying on track should not be too hard. However, if you still feel like giving up, simply don’t. Just keep going. Take one step at a time, but never lose sight of your big goal.
Don’t be fooled. We all have setbacks. We all have times when nothing seems to work and we seem to tread water. Having the right, positive mindset, surrounding yourself with encouraging people, keeping yourself inspired and always knowing your goals will keep you on the right road to major success. Writer: Anne Reinhardt
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